GRUMPY RUNNERS: Marshallton Triathlon Race Report...ANY GIVEN SUNDAY!!

Heidi

There is a football movie from 1999 with Al Pacino and many others called "Any Given Sunday." It is about football, obviously, but really it is about teamwork and unpredictability of professional football. On any given Sunday you can have a big upset with a bad team beating a good team. Sometimes things just happen that you can't predict before the game, and they call that the "Any Given Sunday" phenomenon.

Well yesterday's triathlon certainly would have fallen into the Any Given Sunday phenomenon. There were ten of us that signed up for this triathlon. It isn't what you call a conventional triathlon. Instead of swimming, you row a canoe down the Brandywine Creek. Instead of running, you walk. In fact, you aren't allowed to run or you will be disqualified. There is also a 2.3 mile downhill bike ride and then back uphill to finish the race after you canoe and walk. Sounds fun, right?? Well it certainly was...for me anyway.

This was the 40th year for the Marshallton Triathlon. (Just an FYI...the triathlon folks spell it with one L instead of two. My family is from the Village of Marshallton and Marshall is a family name, so I refuse to spell it with one L. Just saying, in case you ever want to google it!!) As I just said, Marshallton is a small village in West Bradford Township that my mother's family is from and my aunt and uncle still live in. I think quaint would be a good word to describe it. So, since it was the 40th year and I am now doing races, I decided to strong arm my friends and children into signing up with me for this thing. What could go wrong? Ha Ha.

Our team name was Will Tri 4 Drinks. I thought it was creative. We even got props from the Marshallton Triathlon Facebook page that it was a creative name. Yes, there were four teenagers on the team, but they can drink water, right?? I didn't say Will Tri 4 Beer which is really what I wanted to call us.

Team Will Tri 4 Drinks

Anyway, I teamed everyone up for the canoe part of the race back in July. I was with my friend, Heather, Kristen was with Jackie, Nicole was with her friend Suzanne, my son Justin was with my daughter Haley, and my son Tyler was with Jackie's son Nathan. So once you sped down the 2.3 mile downhill on your bike, you had to wait for your partner to get into the canoe. Not everyone was paired evenly with the downhill but it all worked out.

On our way to the race from my Aunt's house.

I knew my bike was pretty fast on the downhill, so I made it a point to be the first out of our group to get to the canoes. Only, we were corralled 3-4 bikes in a row for the start and I was behind a younger child on a bmx bike. I was afraid I was going to run him over!!! So, I had to wait a few seconds to start. In those few seconds, Jackie and Kristen were GONE!!! CRAP, my one and only claim to fame, beating them on the downhill just went out the window!!! DAMN!!

I start pedaling and passing a few people in front of me and here comes my son, Justin. No way SON!!!! I start pedaling faster. People were in my way. I said, "On your left." Clearly these were not experienced bikers. Nobody would move. Ugggh. I finally get past them and flew past Justin. Then I see Kristen, Yup, see ya, bye friend!! There were three people in front of me from our heat. Jackie was first. I passed all of them HOOORAY~!!!!! I am going to be first. Then I even passed some people from the heat in front of us. (To be fair, they had little children with them.) I went over the bridge, turned the corner by the Longhorn cows and I see the Northbrook Canoe Company. I can't believe it. I am going to win our heat. WAIT!!!! Where the heck did this little ten year old come from??? Yup, a ten year old on a yellow Cannondale beat me. Whatever, I still beat Jackie and Kristen. (Again to be fair, Jackie is a much faster biker than me but she hadn't ridden her bike since our tri back in June. Sorry about your luck, Jackie!!!) (And...Kristen is wayyyy faster on the uphill than me but my bike is just quicker on the downhill. She needs a new bike.)

So the volunteers take my bike. I walk over near the canoes. Kristen and Jackie are off. They were probably a good two minutes ahead of Heather and I . Poor Justin was waiting for Haley. She was the last one down the hill. It didn't matter...

Heather and I get into our canoe. She was in the back so she can steer. I totally forced this on her when we did our training run a few weeks ago. I was not going to be held liable for steering us into rocks, trees and other boats. (Thinking back on this, I may want to put her in the front next time.) So, we didn't even get two minutes into our canoe ride and there is Jackie and Kristen standing next to their canoe, dumping water out of it. I started CRACKING UP!!!! I made Heather stop rowing so I could pull my phone out of the double bagged Ziploc that I put it in and take a picture of this. They were WET!!!!! Ha Ha Ha. They CAPSIZED!!!! This was just too good to pass up. I had to take a picture. Although it is a little blurry, you can see who it is.

This still makes me laugh. You see, I paired Kristen and Jackie together to be nice. They are both fast walkers and fast bikers. I, however, can not be held responsible for their canoeing skills. Guess they should have made time for a delightful boat ride down the Brandywine for practice like Heather and I did a few weeks ago.

Anyway, a few minutes after that, Heather and I got stuck. KARMA!! Luckily for me, Heather put one foot out of the canoe and pushed us where we needed to be. Only one foot got wet. (Another reason I chose Heather as my partner. She always does the hard stuff first!! If Kristen was my partner, we would still be on the Brandywine fighting with each other as to who had to get out of the boat.)

About five minutes into our canoe ride, here comes Justin and Haley. I knew they would pass us. Stupid school canoeing field trips. We stayed near them for a while until.....HEATHER STEERED US INTO AN EMBANKMENT. Not just any embankment, but one that had an overhang so the canoe went right underneath it. So did my legs. My right leg got squished. I saw stars. There was no way to stop it. There was tons of mud on me and in the canoe. The worst was we were now floating down the Brandywine backwards. Heather was yelling at me to paddle. She almost got the paddle across her head. (I love you Heather, just not at that moment!) So, other than that disaster, we did pretty well. Yes we hit a few other canoes, and rocks and tree branches but we certainly were doing better than the rest of them, except for Justin and Haley, of course.

Haley and Justin...saw them briefly on the Brandywine.

So finally after what felt like years, (only 3 miles) we came to the end of our canoe course. Some volunteers were standing in the water holding the canoes so we could get out. Wait, what?? I have to walk in the water to get to the ramp??? BUT I MADE HEATHER GET HER FEET WET. NOT ME!!! Yup, I had to get my old running shoes wet. Then I had to walk in said wet shoes for 2.4 miles. Awesome!!

Heather and I getting ready to walk our 2.4 miles.

Heather is a much quicker walker than I am . I am so slow now matter how hard I try. I can't even say it is because I am short because as you can see from this picture, Heather is short too. So I told Heather to go on without me. I had an idea that maybe I would catch her on the uphill bike ride. She was soooooo fast. I lost her in my sights within five minutes. Oh well, now would be a great time to post on Facebook Kristen and Jackie's picture of them standing in the creek trying to empty their boat. Really, I couldn't wait to get out of that boat to post that picture. I know, I am a bit ridiculous.

I kept walking through this beautiful trail. The leaves had started to fall. It was really nice. Too bad I didn't have anyone to share it with. Just like my running races. Slow Slow Slow and all by myself!! I also kept looking over my shoulder to see two red shirts walking past me at record speed. I thought to myself, they must be really bad on that canoe course to have not passed me yet. Who knew? I finished the walking portion of the race with no red shirts in sight, in front or in back of me.

I got to the bike/canoe transition area. Took a drink. Replaced my hat with my helmet and took off up the hill. Not even a minute into it, I see Jackie and Kristen walking to the transition area. Seriously??? I tried to run them over. No really, they were totally in my way and it would have been justified. But they moved at the last second. Of course Kristen said, "I'm coming for you!!" I knew she was!! Frankly, I knew she would pass me. I couldn't worry about that though. I had to go get Heather and Haley. I knew both of them would be walking up the bad hills so perhaps I still had a chance. Justin....no way!

I rode like hell up that hill. I think I said "On your left" 800 times. Well maybe only 20. My heart rate monitor said my heart rate was 175 and I wasn't even on the big hill yet. Uggghh. I start up the big hill. I lower my gears to make it easier. THERE THEY ARE!!! WALKING THEIR BIKES UP THE HILL!! THEY ARE MINE!!!! So I pedaled past them both and gasped a hello. OK so I am good with those two now I just have to keep a good pace so Kristen and Jackie don't pass me. I was a riding fool!!! I ride up the second big hill. I know I am close because I pass The Bradford Cemetery. I say hello to my mom and dad (yes they are buried in Marshallton. I told you my family is from here and now they reside here permanently. ) Oh look, there's that ten year old on his yellow Cannondale pedaling past me. AGAIN??? Almost there.... and DONE!!!! Ha Ha Suckers!! I came in second (well second within our group.) I see Justin and then I cheer everyone else on as they cross the finish line. Well I tried to cheer but I was still gasping for air at that time. In came Haley, then Heather, then Kristen and Jackie. I didn't wait for the others. They were taking too long and I wanted my aunt to fix my leg before the creek water infected it. So Kristen, Jackie and I walked up to my aunt's house.

Troy and Heather's husband, Rob, waited for the rest of them to come in. Such good husbands. My aunt fixed up my leg like the good nurse I remember her to be. (She isn't really a nurse but she always was so good at treating my brothers', my cousin's and my cuts and bruises when we were little.) I want to thank my aunt and uncle for such great hospitality. We parked at their house for free, used their bathroom facilities (and almost broke it), and had a little after party with adult beverages on their front porch. I love my family!!

So here is the kicker. I really did pair Kristen and Jackie together to be nice. I thought for sure that the two of them and Justin would be fighting for first place bragging rights. I never thought in a million years that I would beat them. You see, I can't beat them at any race, except maybe swimming but since I put swimming with running and biking, it never happens. I WAS SO OBNOXIOUS ABOUT WINNING. IT WAS REALLY BAD. The more I drank, the worse I became. So I want to apologize now for it. But, like I said, this NEVER happens. I had to make sure they knew they were beat. It will never happen again. Kristen will never allow me to beat her again in ANY RACE!!! I am sure of it. So much for my "fun" race. Ha Ha. It was so fun for me!! Like I said, "ANY GIVEN SUNDAY." It was an upset!!! (No pun intended, Kristen and Jackie.)

After Nicole, Suzanne, Nathan and Tyler came in, we had a fun little party on my aunt and uncle's porch. Then we went down to the race area and had a few more drinks and lunch. The children went home (I love that my oldest can drive now!)

I just want to say THANK YOU to my teammates!! I am so glad that you all raced with me. I promise not to be so obnoxious next year!! You all did really great and you should be proud of yourselves. Thank you to Troy, Rob and Kylee (Heather's daughter) for cheering us on. Great job to Rob's daughter who raced with her mom too. This was just my story. There were so many other fun stories that I didn't get to experience because you know, I was way ahead of my teammates. Ha Ha. Here's to next year...who's with me??

Here are a few pics from the race...